Crystal Tears
by Sea Salt Princess
Summary: Roxas has issues. Big issues. He was abused by his uncle, his parents kicked him and his brothers out, and now he has to deal with a pesky redhead who just can't take a hint. Warning: shounen-ai and abuse


**Crystal Tears**

**Chapter 1: ****Acceptance**

**A/N:**Just a note before I start, I got bored (a little) with the last story that I wrote, so I decided to start this one. I felt like writing something darker and more plot driven, rather than relationship driven. I know I still need to go back and edit it, but I'm too damn lazy ;3

I'm pretty excited about this new story because the first chapter is nearly as long as my first story thus far O3O

A warning though, this does contain abuse, and shounen-ai. Don't like it? Meh. Your problem. I guess I was just in a darker mood this past week when I wrote it, so that kind of influenced my mood through out the entire chapter. I also did this over a few days, so if there seems like a sudden change in mood, that's probably when I wrote it at a different time. Yes, I am aware that there are a lot of fragments in here, THANKS WORD. LIKE I DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW THAT?

:p

So, without further ado, read on!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, or pretty much anything else that I mention in this fic. If I did own Kingdom Hearts, the entire game would be... let's say... different... ;D

_"Please won't you push me for the last time?_

_Let's scream until there's nothing left_

_So sick of playing_

_I don't want this anymore." – Pierce the Veil ft. Kellin Quinn_

**Roxas's POV**

So I decided to move. No big deal, right? Wrong. Essentially my parents kicked my twin and me out of the house once we turned eighteen. They told us that we had to go to college – or somewhere. They said they'd pay for college, but for housing we were on our own. Sora, my twin, wound up going to some fancy-shmancy college because Kairi's mom managed to worm him in there. There was only like, one space left, so he gets to room with a sophomore.

And what about me? I get to room with an obnoxious red-head that never knows when to shut up.

Who knew one person could ruin my first Friday at college?

xXx

I walked into my new college dorm room, to see all of the lights were out, which meant I arrived late. So my roommate must been even later, I assumed. I flicked on a light and watched them slowly power on. Fluorescent lights, huh? I think. We have a relatively large room, and I take the bed farther from the door. I toss my bags at the end of my bed and begin to unpack all of my belongings I brought. First I pull out several of my posters, taping them up on the wall above my bed, starting with Pierce the Veil, and finally ending with Panic! At the Disco. In total, I had about 20 posters up on the walls, and it covered almost the entire wall. I unpacked my alarm clock, plugged it in, and changed the time. I plugged my iPod into it, and started playing music. I continued to unpack my belongings, dancing along with my music as I went. I finally unpacked all of my electronics, including my computer, PS3, XBOX, and PSP. It isn't until then that I realize that on the wall that faces my bed, is a TV. I place my electronics by it. Then I begin to unpack my clothes and put them in the dresser underneath the TV. The other dresser on the other side of the room I guessed was for my roommate. I sat down on my bed and observed my room.

As I noted before, the room was relatively large. To my left were two night tables. In between them was a window. Next to the night table that was farthest away was the other bed. At the end of the bed was the other dresser. After that dresser there is the bathroom, and then the entranceway to the room. The entranceway twists toward the bathroom so that you can't see directly into the room. I guess it's for safety reasons.

I looked to the end of my bed. There's nothing there, but if I let my eyes trail a bit further are all of my electronics and the TV. To the left of that are two desks, side by side. One holds my computer, and the other is empty. I notice that the wall color there is different than around the rest of the room. That wall is colored a deep blue, and the rest of the room is a dark red.

I suddenly find myself to be exhausted, and let my head fall back on the pillow and shut my eyes, succumbing to the darkness that follows.

xXx

I woke up to fire. Bright red, spiky, cinnamon smelling… green… what?

I sit up and smack foreheads with the boy who was leaning over me. He holds his forehead and steps back, exclaiming in pain for several moments. I looked past him and see a blonde boy by the entrance. He has a mullet/Mohawk type hairdo. I decided to dub it the 'poofy-never-left-the-80's-hair.' Poofy-never-left-the-80's-hair boy looks stunned for a moment, and then walks over to his friend. They exchange a few words, they say goodbye and he leaves.

I swing my legs off my bed, and my feet land on the plush carpet. I cradle my forehead with my left hand, in a pathetic attempt to cease the throbbing in it. I stood up and walked into the bathroom to make sure it didn't begin to form a bump, when the redhead followed me in.

"The name's Axel. A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?" The redhead said with an arrogant air around him.

"Roxas." I said shortly. I could feel the headache beginning to grow. I can see black spots begin to cross my vision.

"Roxas. Rox-as. Rocks…ass? Sure, your ass is rocking, but how would your parents know that when you were a baby? Was your ass always rockin'? Or is that like a nickname? Y'know I'm entirely serious... you have a pretty nice ass. You could be like an ass model. Oh wait, isn't that porn? Or does that qualify as something completely different?" He was really getting on my nerves. Plus this incessant throbbing inside my skull didn't make the situation any better. I just wanted everything to stop – to just be able to go back to bed. But I couldn't. Instead, my sensitive skull leading me to come up with some other witty remark.

"Shut up. Just SHUT UP." I yelled at him. WHY couldn't he see that I didn't want to talk? Is he THAT stupid? I attempt to stomp out of the suddenly cramped bathroom, but was blocked by my fiery roommate.

"Jeez. What's got your panties in a bunch? Need a little Axel-Lovin to help you calm down?" With this he began to laugh. Oh, there was no way that I'd sleep that night. I had to stay up to make sure that I didn't get molested. That guy freaked me out. What was his problem? Sure, I don't care if he's gay, or bi, or whatever, but why am I his target?

I pushed past him and walked back to my bed. I remembered at the front desk that they told us that there were many cafes around campus that served dinner. There was also the general cafeteria that served dinner to all the students at six. It was about 5:30 when I checked my watch, so I decided that in twenty minutes I should head down. The walk was five minutes, but these are some hungry teenagers, and I didn't want to miss out. I pulled out my iPod and started blasting some Pierce the Veil songs to kill the time. About three songs later, I looked up to realize that my creepy roommate was staring at me. I pulled out one ear bud and looked back at him.

"The fuck are you staring at me for?" I asked him – none too politely. My older brother, Cloud, always taught me that the only way something can be done is when you act like an ass. Like when he asked Leon out. Leon had borrowed one of Clouds shirts, and Cloud, overwhelmed by his feelings started acting like an ass. Cloud started bitching and moaning about how that was his shirt and that Leon should've asked, and a whole bunch of other shit. When he finally let Leon go, after tackling him onto the bed for taking his shirt, he just attacked him with his mouth, and Leon went along with it. Again, the only way things can be done are to be an ass about it.

"Oh, no reason. You're just cute when you sing along to your music." Oh god! That's what I had done?! Sora always said I had a bad habit of singing along to my music and not noticing. My face paled. I hated it when people heard me sing. Axel must've seen my sudden change in demeanor, because he suddenly stopped joking, "Hey, it's fine. Your singing is great. Why are you acting like you just saw a ghost?" Oh great. I had to explain my past to him now? No. He couldn't know about my uncle. I hated that man – correction – _hate _that man. There is no amount of hate in the world to describe my hate for that man. He would molest me as a kid. I was thirteen. I didn't know what to do. I was scared. I was too defenseless, too pathetic to do anything about it. Then after he was done with me, he'd make me sing to him. He said my voice was beautiful. He always wanted to hear it. He enjoyed my singing and my screams of pain. I shuddered at the thought. He'd make me sing everything he wanted. A new song out on the charts, any song that he wanted, it didn't matter. I'd have to sing it at least mediocre or else he'd beat me. The only genres he stayed away from were punk, alternative, and screamo. That's why that was all I listened to anymore. I loved music, but any other genre reminded me of him, and I'd have terrible back flashes. When my parents finally found out what he was doing, they had him locked up. I didn't ever want to see his face again.

I got up, iPod in hand, and left the room. It didn't matter anymore where I went, I just had to get away. A flashback was quickly approaching, and I couldn't afford one now. Not in front of Axel. Not anymore. I walked through the campus park, the gentle rain accumulating and dripping down my face in small streams. The salt of my tears mixed with the purity of the rain. I trudged on, wandering around, trying to get away from my past, but as soon as I stopped walking, I'd feel it coming back to me. I was done with these flashbacks. I didn't want them, so why would they remain?

As I felt the flash back approach, I ran faster and farther. The blood in my body rushed and pulsed along with the pounding of my feet in the park grass. I approached a forested section of the park. The pine needles and leaves crunched between my feet as my pace increased yet again. I continued to run, trying to get away. I dropped to my knees, knowing running was getting nowhere. This flashback wouldn't stop. It was too late. My tears poured relentlessly down my face, and my body was racked with violent sobbing. Why? Why now? Sora commented on my singing all the time. Why was Axel different?

I hated the fact that I was helpless. That someone I had just met could trigger this within me. I found that my hands were now on the ground, and I was retching. I couldn't hold it down. The flashback. _No! No no no! Not now! _I think, just as I fall to the ground, and the world went to darkness.

_ I heard his deep, maniacal laughter above me. He had me cornered in the kitchen. I couldn't get away. It was over. It was going to happen yet again. He grabbed my arm, and dragged me to the guest room he was staying in. I resisted, trying to get him to stop. He pulled my arm harder, dragging me into the room fully. I made a weak attempt to hold onto the door, only to have my fingers pried off of it, and to hear him chide, "Tch. You know the rules. One- be quiet, two- don't resist, and three- do as I say. You know the consequences as well as I do." He cackled with laughter yet again, at the look of misery crossing my face. I knew I had to lock my emotions away. I didn't want to feel anymore._

_ "Please, Uncle Xemnas-" I attempted._

_ "No. You're not getting away this time. Your parents shouldn't be back for quite a while." The Devil said, picking my body up and placing it onto the guest bed. He straddled me, and pulled off my shirt. He began to ghost his fingers over my skin, trailing down to my pants. He soon had those off too. I knew it was no use to try and fight anymore. He was going to have his way, but at least this way, It'd hurt less. He touched me, and it felt like acid – wrong. I wanted to scream every time he put a finger on me. I wanted to hurt him every time he had licked me. I wanted to torture him for every time he bit me. And I wanted to kill him for every time he _touched_ me._

_ He began to pull off my boxers. So far I'd managed to avoid most of the pain. Usually he'd pull out his knife and cut an 'X' onto my wrist. I cried out in fear. This was wrong, wrong, wrong. He looked me in the eye, and placed his lips on mine. I knew what would happen next, and I would never be prepared for it._

"Roxas? Roxas! ROXAS!" I heard someone shout. I was shaking, but this time it wasn't me. I cracked open an eye to see a bright flash of red with a background of green. I looked into the eyes that were penetrating my own. They were a bright, shining green, although I wasn't sure if they were shining normally, or just out of fear. Axel pulled away from me. "Roxas." He said one last time, for good measure.

"Can you stop shaking me?" I asked, too emotionally exhausted for there to be any anger in my voice – just pure, unadulterated fear. I was terrified, like usual after a flashback. It was then that I realized that Axel had let go a while ago, and that it was me shaking.

"Uh, Roxas, I'm not touching you." Axel commented, confused. Didn't Roxas know he was shaking?

"How did you find me?" I asked, frantic. I never wanted anyone to find me like this, and now that I was regaining my strength, that same fire of anger I had before came back. _"HOW DID YOU FIND ME?!" _I shrieked. Why was he here? I was terrified. What if he did that all to me while I was having a flashback and my mind made him out to be Xemnas? I shuddered at the thought.

I pushed him back, shaking with fear. I couldn't start out a school year like this. Maybe it wasn't too late to go back to my parent's house.

"Roxas. When you stormed out of the room, I was a bit shocked, and after I got over the shock, I ran out after you. I was about to give up, but I heard you screaming 'No' repeatedly, like you were being murdered. I thought you were, so I ran towards the screams, only to find you lying here, shrieking next to a pile of vomit. Now would you care to explain?" Axel asked, ticked off. I knew that he wouldn't understand, so I got up, and shook my head. I walked away from him, with no appetite to eat anymore. I went back to our room, with full knowledge that Axel was right behind me. I knew that he wanted to know what had happened, but I wouldn't give him an inch.

xXx

When we got back to the dorm building, I ran to the room, and locked Axel out before he got in. I needed time to deal with this all, and I hoped he understood. I wrote a quick note, no doubt scribbled messily and carelessly, and passed it under the door so he'd see it. I told him that he should just go to dinner and that I'd be fine when he got back, and not to worry.

I ran to my bag, pulled out my pocket knife and went to the bathroom. I leaned over the sink. I splashed water on my face. I needed release from this. I needed to forget. I knew his scar was still there. It'd never leave. But I could try. I rolled back my sleeve to see the 'X' that was now deranged from cutting it up so often. I cleaned off the knife because I didn't want an infection, because then I'd have to go get it treated and then go through all kinds of therapy. The last thing I wanted was a therapist to uncover the problems I had buried underneath so far. I cut yet another line into the 'X' and continued until the 'X' was gone. I had already cut off the first half of it, until it only looked like an upside down 'V' and now the rest was gone, but bleeding profusely. I knew I shouldn't have cut that much, but I was relieved that it was gone. I watched as the blood formed a river down my arm and dripped into the sink. There was a steady trail traveling down, and once again, I saw the black spots flicking across my field of view. I knew this time I had gone too far and that this could be the end. It was all that I remembered as I passed out onto the cold, hard tiles.

xXx

I had woken up to a blinding white light. I thought it was heaven for a few brief moments before my fantasy of heaven was interrupted with someone screaming, 'He's awake!' It was then that I had heard the continuous beeping that came from next to me. I opened my eyes a little further as they adjusted to the harsh bright light. Who decides to make a hospital white? Seriously. It's the most painful color out there, I thought to myself.

A few nurses came and fussed about me, asking me how I am and if 'it' hurt. Whatever 'it' was. I tried to lean on my hands to sit up, but pain shot through my right wrist, and I stopped mid-way. After the pain subsided, I tried again, and managed to sit up and look around the room. There was an IV attached to me, with a pint of blood in it. Next to it was the machine that made that incessant beeping noise. I then noticed a few paintings on the walls, one of a sunset over the ocean, with the silhouette of two people in front of it on it, and the other painting was one of a Paopu fruit. My eyes slowly drifted to the plastic chairs that were always in hospitals, expecting no one to be there. I was shocked to see Axel there, with bags under his eyes. I couldn't speak. Why was he here? Why did he care? I was just useless. A nothing. A nobody.

I didn't realize that I had called for him until I did. His eyelids fluttered open and he looked at me, shock displayed all over his features. He jumped up, his facial features relaxing in relief.

"Roxas." He sounded like he was about to cry. "I – I saw your note – but I knew that you weren't o-okay so I w-waited. I h-heard a th-thud a-and I b-burst into our r-room to see what h-happened in th-there." His voice was cracking, and I knew he wasn't far from tears. "I s-saw you in a p-puddle of b-blood and I a-almost l-l-lost it. I w-was s-so s-scared." Ah. That was why he was here. I was faintly disappointed. It was so faint that I could barely detect it. _Barely._ He was just concerned for me as a roommate. Probably didn't want to be pinned with murder. I couldn't blame him.

But wait. Why did I care? Wasn't it his fault I was here? He was the one who triggered the flashback. I didn't know. He was just another jerk that wanted to be in my life, and I rejected twice as hard as before, but he kept coming back. Didn't he know when to quit? I had to sympathize with him though. I'd probably be freaking out too. But that still didn't explain the huge bags under his eyes.

"Axel. How long was I out for?" I asked, scared to receive the answer. I feared it would be a week, and that I'd be the weird boy that missed the first week of school because he was in the ER in intensive care because he almost killed himself. How does one explain themselves in a situation like that?

Axel sniffled before answering, "Do you really want to know?" He asked and I nodded. I wasn't sure if I did or not, but I figured that I might as well know the damage now. "Well, it was Friday when it happened and it's Sunday morning now. I –sniffle- stayed here until you woke up." I felt really bad then. He might've been the reason I was in there, but I was the reason he was there too.

"Axel. I'm sorry." I apologized with all my heart and then a question popped into my head. "Oh, and Ax, do you know when they'll let me out of here?" Axel shook his head. Of course he didn't know. I mentally slapped myself. He'd been asleep. I felt so stupid.

A nurse walked in to check on me again. I repeated my question to her and she said that it would be noon at the earliest I'd be released. I sighed in defeat and lay back down before Axel asked me a question.

"Roxas?" He started, waiting for me to acknowledge him. He was probably checking to make sure I didn't fall asleep. "Rox, I'm what caused this, aren't I? It was the comment I made, right? Jeez. I'm sorry Roxas. I seriously didn't know. I wish that you'd let me know what happened. I'm so confused. What even happened back there?" I cringed at that memory, and tried to hide my face. Axel, guessing that I didn't want to talk about it, changed topic. "Okay. I guess I'll stay away from that topic for now, but please, let me know next time. Maybe I can help you." With that, Axel sat back and closed his eyes. I wanted to tell him everything. I knew deep down, that it wasn't his fault. I had flashbacks all the time. I wanted to tell him that he was the only one who could ever get me out of a flashback. And how his timing was the best. It was before Xemnas did anything too bad. I did remember that day though. I thought that maybe for once he wouldn't hurt me, but instead, he cut the same scar on my wrist again, deeper than before, and then again on my leg. The one on my leg, though, faded.

"Axel?" Now it was my turn to wait to see if he'd fallen asleep or not. When he acknowledged me, I knew that I had to tell him. At least a piece of it. "Axel, what you saw- it was a flashback. It was terrible – worse than usual – but somehow you got me out of it. So, I guess, thank you." Axel nodded and went back to sleeping in the plastic chair. I could tell he was exhausted from worrying over me, and I wanted to let him sleep. It's the least he deserved. Especially after what I had already put him through. Too bad he didn't know what he had just gotten himself into.

xXx

That afternoon, I got out of the hospital. Axel drove us back to the dorm. Axel insisted that he wouldn't leave my side, even for his blonde-haired friend, who he told me was named Demyx. His friend was pretty persistent with getting Axel to hang out with him. I found out that Demyx lived on campus too, which was why he was here when I woke up.

Demyx was bummed that Axel wouldn't visit. I was told by Axel that I had to stay in bed for my own health. I'd heard no such thing from the hospital, so I figured he was just being an ass. He sat down next to me and began to poke me in the cheek.

"Why the fuck are you poking me?" I asked coldly and bluntly. I hated it when people touched me for no reason. I hated it when people touched me, period.

"Your face is so squishy! That's why!" Axel told me. He said it like it was the most obvious reason in the world. Axel suddenly pounced on top of me and started poking me in the stomach. I couldn't help the uncontrollable laughter that came from my mouth. It tickled so much. I started crying, in joy of course, and couldn't stop laughing.

"Ack! S-St-Stoppit!" I pleaded, forcing the last word out of my mouth. Even though I asked, he didn't. Axel was laughing with me.

"No way! You were way too down in the dumps! Laugh my minion! Laugh!" Axel said, jabbing my face yet again. I tried to bite his finger. I missed. "Hey! That's my finger!" Axel cried, sitting back.

"Yeah, and poke me again in the face and it'll be mine!" I threatened through laughing. Axel, annoyed, poked me in the stomach again.

"Pfft. You're still helpless! I want to see you try!" Axel taunted. I kicked him off of me and he landed on the ground with a plop. "Ow." He complained, rubbing his bum. "That hurt. Jeez. You're vicious!" Axel laughed again. He had a deep, silky laugh, which made me only want to make him laugh more. Axel walked over to his bed, his face still bright with laughter. He lay down on his bed, hands cradling the back of his head. I suddenly came up with a devious plan, and I had a feeling that it was going to be good.

I slyly angled myself to have my feet off my bed, just as I decided to go. I jumped up onto Axel and straddled him. There was no way that he was going to get away with the torture I had to endure. I kept him pinned down, and began jabbing him in the stomach. He slapped my shoulders several times, and tried to get me off to no avail. He started to laugh uncontrollably as I poked him more and more, and soon, he was laughing so hard he cried. Axel tried to fend me off several times, and I even took a slap to the face.

"How do you like it Axel?" I cheered in victory.

"Not –giggle- at all –giggle- stop –giggle- it!" Axel cried through laughter. He tried to push me off again, but it didn't work. I poked him in the stomach again, and that was it. He couldn't take anymore. He burst into laughter ten times harder, grabbed my wrists, and managed to flip me underneath him, wrists pinned down. I didn't think that he realized what he was doing when he did it. He was putting a lot of pressure onto my recently cut wrist. I cried out in pain.

"_Axel!"_ I cried desperately. It hurt so badly. It felt as if there were a thousand knives stabbing into my wrist again. It felt as if Xemnas was back, holding me down, and carving into my wrist yet again. I felt my body tense with fear, and my eyes widened. Axel seemed to have figured it and sat back. I felt tears prick at the corner of my eyes.

"Oh my god! Roxas! I'm so sorry!" Axel whimpered. "I'm such a moron! Oh god. Roxas are you okay?" Axel's panic was setting in. He didn't want to cause Roxas any more pain – ever.

"I'm f-fine Axel." I manage to blurt out. I was far from fine. It I hadn't been looking straight into Axel's vivid jade eyes, I knew I would've had a flashback. I knew that I had begun to cry. I could feel the crystal tears running down my face. I could feel Axel, worried, and still straddling, wipe the tears away.

"Roxas. I-" I had cut Axel off before he could finish.

"Just stop. Get off." I said coldly. I wouldn't be able to handle two flashbacks so close to one another. He might've stopped it that far, but it would be even worse if I had it and he were on top of me. I felt Axel get off of me, and I sensed the concern written on his features. I rushed to the bathroom to check on the damage of my wrist. I saw that the cut had reopened and was bleeding again. I bandaged it again, and went to my bed, plopping down. I wanted to sleep – to forget it all. Axel's eyes were boring holes into the ceiling. I knew though, that he was watching me out of the corner of his eyes. I pulled out my iPod and started blasting music, trying to drown out the world, and the impending flashback.

I knew that it was too late to get away from the flashback now. It was too close. It was going to happen, and Axel was going to see it. I was terrified. What if he thought I was a freak? I felt myself instantaneously pale. I could feel myself breaking out into a cold, panicked sweat. My fingers were shaking, and my vision was blurring.

I pulled out an ear bud and turned to Axel. I didn't know if I wanted him to know, but proving my earlier suspicions, he turned to me, and studied my panicky expression. He sat up and for a moment, a look of indecision crossed his face. He then stood up and walked across to me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. He seemed to help with the shaking. I buried my face into his chest, trying to protect myself from the flashback. I felt a sob rack my body, and I knew it was a matter of moments. Not even Axel could help me fight off a flashback this strong. I knew this one was going to be bad.

I looked up at Axel and said, "Sorry."

_ "Roxas! How are you, my boy?" Uncle Xemnas asked me. "And Sora, I mustn't forget about you!" Uncle Xemnas said, turning to Sora. He patted Sora's head. Uncle Xemnas was going to be babysitting us for the weekend, because our parents were going out for a romantic getaway. I was always skeptical of Uncle Xemnas. I knew he was weird, the way he would watch me when I was younger, playing with my toys. He never gave Sora this attention. In fact, he ignored Sora completely. I knew by then, that everyone had always liked Sora better. He was the social one. I was the quiet one. I didn't like to be around others. I preferred being by myself. So why would Uncle Xemnas like me better?_

_xXx_

_ Later that night, Uncle Xemnas had put us to bed. Sora was in his room down the hall, and I was in my room, Uncle Xemnas was supposed to be in the guest room on the other side of the hall. Xemnas walked into my room, and flicked on the lights. He approached me, and sat down on my bed. It wasn't long before he was on top of me, hovering over me, staring into my eyes._

_ "Your eyes, they are like a window into your soul. So pure, so trusting. I want it for myself." He then forced his mouth upon my own. I was so scared and confused. I tried to push him away. I tried to get him off. He pulled away from me and slapped me. "Rule one: be quiet. Rule two: don't resist. Rule three: do as I say. Otherwise, this pocket knife that I have, just might slip." I stopped resisting. I was scared. I didn't know if he would go through with it or not, but I didn't want to know. He plunged his tongue into my mouth, and I bit down on it. He yelped in pain. "YOU SON OF A BITCH!" He screamed at me. He then sat upon me, and punched my stomach several times. I clutched my stomach, trying to alleviate the pain. I tried to curl up into a ball to protect myself, but couldn't move. Xemnas was holding me down, and now focusing on just one wrist. He was full-body lying on top of me, and that was when I saw a glimpse of metal. I was scared. He was going to cut my throat wasn't he? Or worse! What if he castrated me?! I cried out in fear. Xemnas just laughed viciously. I felt a sharp pain in my wrist, and then a dripping of some sort of liquid, slowly trailing down my arm. Xemnas then got off of me. "That there, is an 'X' so that you are always marked as mine. As long as that is there, I am there." He began to walk out of my room. "Oh, and don't forget. You can't mention a word of this to your parents, or else I'll have even more fun with you." His amber eyes bored into mine, as I knew that this was the beginning of a dark, dangerous path that I had been thrust upon. A path, that I wasn't so sure that I'd make it out alive from. I looked to my wrist to see a trail of blood going down my arm. He hadn't cut deep – it would go away in a few days- but the memory would be there, of the crimson river, traveling down my arm._

_ I didn't fall asleep again that night._

"Rox…" I heard someone whimpering. Their voice was hoarse, as if they'd been screaming for ages. I opened my eyes to see bright red. I figured it must've been blood, from when Xemnas punched me. I felt a pressure on my chest, like something was on top of it. _Xemnas!_ I thought, and I sat up sharply. The fire left my chest, along with the pressure. I saw jade, complementing the red, looking at me, examining me. I felt so vulnerable. I could feel myself shaking – terrified. What if that was Xemnas? What if he had come back? I could feel the shaking intensify, and then a pair of arms wrap around me. I flinched, and tried to pry my way out of them. Why was the world so foggy? I tried to break free to get away. Never again would I go back to Xemnas. Never.

I broke free of my prison, and made a break for the door. Only it wasn't the door I wanted. It was the bathroom door. Either way, I had to get away before Xemnas got me. I slammed the door and locked it. I sat down, back against the door, and sobbed. I was so scared. This shouldn't be happening. I had an intense urge to peel off the bandaging and cut the scar again, but I knew I shouldn't, not after what happened the last time. I felt more sobs racking my body.

My mind began to clear, and I finally noticed the banging on the bathroom door, and someone calling out my name. I raised my hands to my head, trying to stop the flashes of memories that are uncontrolled from crossing my mind. A flashback had never gotten this bad. But then again, this was the second in less than a few days. I felt noises from my memories coming up, and then everything went black. I couldn't see – couldn't hear – couldn't feel.

It was bliss.

I wept in this darkness, for the innocence that I had lost so young. The acidity of his touch. The pain he inflicted upon me. I wept for my inability to be normal – to be loved. I was never anything special. Just a burden. I was a burden for Axel too. I was hurting him. I knew that my parents' reputations were tainted by me. I had ruined their idealistic, perfect family. The rich, billionaire father. The kind, loving, stay at home mother – even though she was never home. The three perfect sons. Instead, my mother was always out, drinking and drowning out her problems, like how her husband was never there. Our father was never home. Cloud, my older brother, came out of the closet. My father was infuriated, and my mother went straight to the bar to try and forget it. Cloud left the house shortly after that. I missed him after that. He was the only one who could deter Xemnas from me. Cloud was the only one who knew about it too, because he had walked in on Xemnas beating me up once. Cloud defended me, but Xemnas hit him really hard too. Cloud tried to take the brunt of Xemnas' obsession, and I loved him for it. He was the best older brother I could ever imagine, but when he left, Xemnas went full out on me. Xemnas had never gotten as far as he wanted, because no matter what, I would never let him do _that_- He knew it was my limit, and that I would tell if he ever went that far. Sora – he was oblivious. He could never figure out why I was so sad all the time – so troubled. He always thought it was school and that I was stressed over school.

I fell out of my daze, to realize that I was lying on the bathroom floor. I didn't hear any banging on the door. I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. My face was all red from crying, and it looked as if I had scratched down it. I cleaned up my face and opened the door, when Axel's body, which was propped up against the door snoring, had fallen back, and he hit his head. His eyes flashed open.

"ROXAS!" He screamed, a mix of concern, agitation, and something else – something like relief. "Roxas! Are you okay? Roxas! Speak to me! What happened? Was it a flashback?" I remained quiet. I didn't want to talk. I pushed past him and lay down on my bed. I wasn't so sure as to what had happened myself. I had never had two flashbacks so close to one another.

Axel sat down on my bed next to me. "Roxas?" He quietly pleaded. I felt guilty not answering him, but I didn't know what was going on. I wanted Cloud. He would've understood. He would've hugged me in that brotherly way of his. In fact, even if Sora were here, he'd still offer a hug, even if he had no clue what was going on. My parents too. They might have been some of the worst parents in the world for neglecting us so much, to the point that they didn't know that I was almost _raped_ by my uncle on several occasions, but even their comfort would have been good.

I didn't have any of them though. My parents didn't want me, Sora was at Destiny Island College of Smart Stuff, or some fancy name like that, Cloud was in Traverse Town with his boyfriend, Leon, who from what I hear is even colder than Cloud can be, and I was here, all alone. Stuck with a redhead who kept trying to be there, when I kept trying to push him away.

I figured that I might as well try to give him a chance. Let him be my first real friend. One that I knew would be there. I might not be able to trust him right away, but eventually it would come. I sighed, coming to a resolution in my mind. Yes, I would try to be Axel's friend. Because right now, that was what I needed – a friend.

I leaned into Axel's chest, and cried. I wept for the beginning of a new chapter of my life. A new start. New friends.

So yeah. That's it.

The next chapter is underway, and should be up soon. As in, by the end of the month. I'm not trying to keep to a schedule cause it won't work.


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